Ok smarty, how do I choose the right pet insurance?

Well, there isn't a right insurance. No, really, there isn't. There is only the appropriate insurance for your circumstance. The insurance company, despite what they say to you, is NOT your friend. They do NOT have your back - you have to have your own. The insurance company exists for one purpose only...to make a ton of money. That's it. Your job is to do every legal thing in your power to make sure that they don't make that money off YOU. So here are the 10 steps to getting the best insurance for you.

1) Quote with every company out there. Forget online reviews, most of them are pure garbage. They are generally written by people who have no idea what their insurance policy even covers. So it goes without saying that they are going to be dissatisfied when their claims are denied, because they never knew what was covered in the first place.

2) Narrow all those quotes down to 3-5 companies based on price. Insurance companies price risk based on whether or not they want it. So if the company in question has been burned 32,000 times by a 1 year old lab who has eaten a rock then they will price that 1 year old Lab so high that no one in their right mind will insure the dog at that price. Price should not be your FINAL determining factor but you can use price to narrow down the total number of choices.

3) Read a copy of a sample policy from each of the 3-5 companies. This is generally right on their website but if not, you can call them to get it. Don't understand what the heck the policy even means? That's okay - you are in the right place. Look up our definitions, our insurance do's and don'ts, anything you want. If you can't find it, ask me! I really am here to help!

4) Whichever company has the best mix of price and coverage for YOUR PET is the one you choose. If you have one of those aforementioned rock eating labs, make sure the policy doesn't exclude foreign body ingestion or doesn't place limitations on it. If you have a Dachshund, you'll sure want to know that Intervertebral Disc Disease is covered. Got a Boxer? Make sure congenital conditions are covered to your liking (Boxers are prone to a number of them.)

5) Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, lie to the insurance company to get a better price. This is called insurance fraud and if caught, you face a felony conviction for it. Just don't do it. You will note when looking around at prices that they are all over the place but the one consistent thing is your 4 year old mutt is always priced less than your 4 year old prized Beagle. Why? Because mutts have mixed genetics and therefore are far less prone to the many things that pure breed dogs get. Do not be tempted to lie about your dog's age, breed, gender, or anything else.

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Here are another 5 insurance industry definitions which may not be exactly what you think they are. I believe we last left off with "deductible". Fraud (concealment, misrepresentation): This is ANY st

And some of the things they mean they DON'T say. They are not to be trusted. They are not your friend. Treat every encounter you have with your pet insurance company as if it's part of the miranda rig

As Willy Wonka once said, "I wouldn't do that; I really wouldn't." What!? You mean let them keep my money and deny my claim? What is that garbage? Let's do an imaginary scenario. Your boyfriend promis