Pet insurers don't talk like regular people...

I mean they REALLY don't talk like regular people. They talk like super nerdy lawyers. The kind of nerds who think pocket protectors and tape around their glasses makes them look sexy. The kind of lawyers who tell you there's nothing to worry about while they sharpen your teeth with an axe grinder. You know the kind. That's why it's important for you to learn what your pet insurer means when it says "don't worry". Your policy provides definitions but I'm going to give you a real world description of the most important terms you will find in your pet insurance policy.

There are a whole lot of these definitions so we'll be tackling them 5 at a time...because who wants to read 10 million insurance terms all at once - unless they are having trouble sleeping I guess.

1) Accident: This is when your dog eats a poisonous mushroom because it looked tasty or your cat takes a fish hook to the eyeball because he's a jerk and likes to put you through that kind of stuff.

2) Illness and/or sickness: You know, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, infections, glaucoma... all the stuff that keeps us up all night long worrying, crying and carrying on.

3) Injury: When your Beagle is tearing around the yard and suddenly you hear a very loud doggy yelp. Or when your Siamese tries to make the table from the lamp and crashes to the floor and then won't get up. Sometimes this is defined only as "accident" but strictly speaking they are not the same thing.

4) Alternative and Complementary: These are the treatments like laser therapy, herbal medication and acupuncture that your vet may recommend but for which there are generally limited or no double-blinded scientific studies to support. Different companies will think of different things as alternative and complementary so you MUST check with your provider in advance if you are thinking of these treatments and want them to be covered.

5) Deductible: The amount you must pay for covered vet bills before even one single dime is reimbursed to you.

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